Becoming Tempe
by IsleofSkye
Summary: Booth can't figure out why Brennan is shutting him out, and Brennan can't figure out why Booth won't stay away. My view on what should have happened post-PitH. Rating Change! Last Chapter Up!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! This is my first fic! I'm trying to stay true to the show, but if you see something, please tell me and I'll try and rectify it. **

**I don't own Bones. Believe me, if I did, I wouldn't be sharing. **

**PS: Did you guys see last nights ep?? I thought Booth was going to jump her right there when she put those glasses on. *sigh*  
**

Temperance sat on her couch staring off into space. She had no idea how much time had passed, whether it had been minutes or hours since Angela had dropped her off. Angela had offered to stay, but she had assured her that she would be fine, and that she'd see her tomorrow at work.

"Sweetie, you are not going to work tomorrow. You need to give yourself time to grieve." Angela looked at her. Brennan was still covered in blood. It was all over her hands and her shirt where she'd hugged Booth to her chest, telling him that he could do this. Angela had watched her best friend try and staunch the blood that was ever flowing from Booth's shoulder. Angela had watched Booth clutch Brennan's hand as she leaned over him, tears forming, looking directly into his wide eyes. Angela had watched as Brennan let the tears fall as they loaded Booth into the ambulance and told her she couldn't come. Angela had watched Brennan's face close off and turn to stone when the doctors had informed them Booth had died on the operating table. In that moment Angela knew that Brennan, in her own way, loved Booth as more than a partner.

"Angela?" She looked at Angela and found her staring off into space, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. "Angela, please. I'll be fine." She stood up and ushered Angela to the door.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow sweetie." Angela turned to look at Brennan's face before the door closed. She wondered how long it would take someone to break through the walls that Booth had silently crept around.

She sighed loudly and stood up. She looked around her apartment wondering why she didn't feel like she was at home. She couldn't place it, but something was most definitely off. She sighed again. She couldn't remember when the last time she had thoroughly and cleaned her apartment. Maybe that would help get her mind off Booth. She lifted her hand to run it through her hair and stopped suddenly.

"Oh god." She stared at the blood that stained her hands, her shirt, her pants and felt her stomach abruptly lurch. She ran to the bathroom like someone was chasing her and landed hard on her knees as she heaved whatever was in her stomach up. After what felt like a thousand dry heaves, she rested her sweating forehead against the cool porcelain. She lifted her head with a sudden realization. Booth was dead. He wasn't going to be there anymore to give her a "guy hug" when she was scared. He wasn't going to show up at her door with food when he knew she was upset. She wouldn't be able to turn and ask him what a pop culture reference meant. She wouldn't have anyone to explain to her how to act around certain people. She could take care of herself, that was for sure. But in the three years that she'd known Booth, against her will, she'd come to depend on him quite a bit. She had believed him when they sat in her office taking shots and he'd said he would never betray her. She remembered when she had been buried with Hodgins and had explained to him that she didn't have faith, she knew that he would come. He'd proven that over and over to her. But, Booth was dead. Those words kept repeating in her head.

She sat there as wave after wave of grief washed over her. Her eyes welled and spilled over. She sat with her back pressed against the tub; her knees pulled up to her chest and sobbed. She couldn't stop it. She had never cried this hard, not even when her parents left. Then, she'd been in shock. She couldn't believe that they were really gone, and then, with Russ leaving, she'd been shoved into the System. Once there, she didn't have time to cry. She had to survive.

Sob after sob wrench from her throat, leaving it raw. She couldn't believe that after all they had been through, he had left her. She couldn't believe that he had to audacity to step in front of that bullet that she would've gladly taken if it meant saving him. What did she have? Her father and Russ. But, Booth, he had a son, a little boy that worshipped him. What was Parker going to do? She knew what it was like to have your parents taken from you. Would Rebecca tell him about Booth, about how much he loved him, about how amazing he was?

She looked at her hands again, seeing the dried blood covering them. She dragged herself up into the shower, fully dressed, and turned the water to the hottest setting. She let the scalding water pour over her, not noticing because she was numb. She had cried herself numb. She sat at the bottom of the tub, hoping that the water would make her feel something. She grabbed her loufa and scrubbing until her skin was bright red.

She sat there, staring at the wall until the water was so cold she was shaking. Actually, she didn't know if the shaking was from the water or because of the sobs still ripping through her body. She stood and peeled off her clothing, leaving her naked and shivering in her bathroom. She picked it up, and held it away from her body. She walked to the kitchen and shoved them in the trash, underwear and all. She walked to her bedroom, and donned a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt. She collapsed onto her bed, breath whooshing from her lungs as her head hit the pillow.

She knew sleep wasn't going to come tonight, not without nightmares, albeit different than the usual ones, but these just as potent. She curled up in the fetal position, staring at her bedside table. All of the sudden, she jumped up. On her bedside table sat Brainy Smurf, Jasper and a picture of her and Booth that Angela had snapped one day at the lab. She couldn't look at them right now, she just couldn't. She ran to her closet, looking for something to put them in. She grabbed a small suitcase she used for makeup and such when traveling.

The tears began to course down her cheeks again as she walked around her apartment gathering up everything that reminded her of Booth and throwing it into the suitcase. She grabbed Brainy Smurf, Jasper, the picture, Wong Foo's menu, her Foreigner CD, anything at all. She ripped her dress from Las Vegas off the hanger and rolled it up and threw it in there too. She looked at her bookshelves and grabbed the novel that she'd dedicated to him. She opened it, revealing a crumpled piece of paper. She smoothed it out and started to read her own hurried writing.

_Booth,_

_I know that you did all that you could. I know. Do not blame yourself, please. Please tell Russ that I don't hate him, and that I love him very much. Have him tell my Dad that despite everything, I love him too. Angela, tell her I'm going to miss her. _

_I do have one regret. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you in person how much you mean to me. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you that when I close my eyes at night, and when I open them in the morning, inevitably, you are always on my mind. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you that if love is that squeezing feeling you get in your chest when you're around someone (even though it really has no basis in science) and knowing that someone is always there to catch you if you fall, then I think that I love you. _

_ Temperance_

She couldn't believe that she was still able to produce tears after the hours that she'd already spent crying. She placed the note back into the book and tucked it on top of the dress in the suitcase. She gently shut the lid and locked it. And with that, her heart closed itself off from all emotion. After all, he was the one that taught her about them, and helped her use them. It felt like she was betraying him by using them.

She carried the suitcase to her room and set it down on the bed. She curled up next to it and, finally, her exhausted ever running brain slowed enough to let her pass into a fitful sleep.

******

For the next two weeks, she totally closed herself off. Angela tried valiantly to draw her out of her shell. But she was having none of it. She worked ungodly hours, showing up sometimes as early as five am and not leaving until nine or ten pm. She didn't talk unless it pertained to whatever case they happened to be working on. She didn't go see Sweets, and she didn't work with the FBI. She refused to be paired with another partner. No matter who approached her, she was adamant that she was going to be working on Limbo cases and that was it. That was her life. She didn't know if it would ever change.

"It's time, Dr. Brennan." Hodgins told her as she and Zach examined the 16th century French skeleton. She kept going, ignoring Hodgins and continued to address Zach.

"That's enough." This time it was Cam's turn. "We're going, now." This upset her. She didn't want to go to this funeral. Couldn't they see that? She knew that if she went, it was real, and it truly was over. She knew that if she went, the stone walls she'd been building would crumble, and she wouldn't be able to handle breaking down like that again.

"I have remains to identify. He could have a family." Even she knew that they would see through that reason. She wasn't thinking all that clearly, and couldn't come up with a defense fast enough.

"He 500 years old, they've probably adjusted by now." Angela knew that she was dodging. She'd known that Angela would see through her farce, and speak up.

"I'm not going. I've already made that clear." No. She wasn't going to go. No matter how much they begged or pleaded, nothing was getting her out of there.

"It's Agent Booth's funeral, Dr. Brennan. Losing a loved one…"

"A partner, Sweets. I lost a partner." She didn't know why she had to emphasis that. It didn't matter now. Even though, she knew he was right. She had loved him. Why hadn't she told him? She knew, that for the rest of her life, she was going to rue never telling him how she felt.

Sweets went on to say something about how his funeral allowed her to grieve and come to terms with his death. He knew nothing. She was grieving. Most likely, she'd grieve for the rest of her life. She was annoyed that he had the audacity to accuse her of not grieving! She spouted off a story about aborigines burning down their village when someone died, and that standing around a hole seemed no crazier.

But what convinced her was when Angela dragged her off to the side, much to the annoyance of Sweets. Angela explained that she understood. But, she held up the booklet with Booth's picture on the front. She had to blink a few times to keep back the tears that were forming.

"I need to ask you a favor. I need to go to the funeral. I'm not going to be able to get through this alone. I've been crying for like days. I really need your shoulder here. I need my best friend."

Temperance looked at her, and saw that Angela really needed her, and with that, some of her stone walls began to crumble. She nodded her head at Angela and they all left.

******

Temperance stood there beside Booth's casket. Vaguely, she could hear Caroline's voice delivering a eulogy. But her mind wasn't really registering. She was running through the scene at the Checkerbox, trying to figure out what she could've done differently. She wondered if she'd been paying attention, and not showing off, would she have noticed Pam walk into the bar and life a gun? Could she have gotten down off stage and pushed Booth out of the way? Why the hell had he done that? He had NO right!

"That woman was aiming at me. I would've happily taken that bullet."

"I know." Angela assured her.

"If there were a merciful God, why wouldn't he have saved Booth?" See, this is why she didn't believe in God. Someone who was supposedly omnipotent couldn't save a man who believed in him, and dedicated his life to helping people and raising his son. Why would someone do that to Booth? She couldn't wrap her mind around that, and it wasn't usual that she couldn't. She heard the 21 gun salute. She watched as someone walked up with a white rose in his hand, and then everything started moving really fast. Someone burst through their line and started to wrestle. She watched the spectacle in confusion. They slammed into Booth's coffin, knocking it over. There was a dummy in the coffin. What? What the hell was going on? She looked down again and saw that it was Booth wrestling with that guy. A furious storm began to form in her brain. The mantra it kept repeating was, he's not dead, he's not dead. A weight was lifted from her heart, even as another settled over it. This one was pure anger. She ran over and grabbed an arm out of the coffin and swung it at the guy if only to stop the movement so she could see for true that it was him.

"Bones, nice shot." There it was, the proof. He was the only one who did, and who could, call her Bones. She felt the anger that had begun simmering, explode.

"What?" She looked at him, and hauled off and punched him with every ounce of strength in her body. She heard him hit the ground with a groan. She stalked off, fury running through her body and making her knees weak.

She really couldn't think about Booth right now. But her mind was kept busy with the mandible that arrived and the ensuing chaos. Finding out that Sweets had been the one that put her through what was probably the two worst weeks of her entire life. Busting into Booth's bathroom had been a tad cathartic. Not to mention, it wasn't often, or ever, that she got to see Booth, totally naked and wet on top of that. It certainly didn't help the fact that underneath her rage, she could feel her heart beat faster. Despite everything that he had put her through, she couldn't help it. The beer hat, the cigar, the comic book, everything he did was striking her as cute. And that seriously pissed her off.

Then, Zach. It hurt so much to find out that he, too, had ultimately betrayed her. She had to stop letting her walls down and letting people in. This was going to be the death of her. This was just the last straw. She began to rebuild the stone walls around her heart, and started to push everyone away.

**A/N2: There is going to be more, most defintely. Just give me some time. I'm bad at updating things.... :-D**


	2. Chapter 2

He didn't know what he had expected when he "came back from the dead, " but the cold shoulder he'd been getting wasn't what he'd anticipated. Ever since Zach had turned out to be Gormogon's apprentice, he'd watched Bones push everyone away. He hated to see his long, hard work of chiseling away those walls be for naught. But, he knew that in her own way, she had felt responsible for Zach. And, he was last in a long line of people that betrayed and abandoned her. He thought that was what was making her look so lost.

He'd tried to be there for her, showing up with Wong Foo's late at night when he saw her lights were still on. He'd even offered to let her drive. She'd just shaken her head and gazed out the window. It seemed that he couldn't do anything right. She was distant, responding to his questions, but not really talking. Usually he could tell what was going on in her head. The saying "the eyes are the windows to the soul" really described how he read her. Just by looking into her fascinatingly blue eyes, he could almost see what she was thinking. Lately, her eyes have just looked dead and tired. He knew that she was working herself to the bone. Ha ha, to the bone. He chuckled inwardly at his own pun. Or, so he though.

"What Booth?" He turned and saw her looking at him quizzically.

"Huh?"

"What's so funny? I was describing to you how the victim had died, and you giggled. Did I say something that was amusing?" He sighed. She'd been aloof and argumentative like that for a few weeks. It made him want to grab her and kiss her senseless. Of course, he was fairly sure that if he did that he'd, what had Angela told Hodgins, walk funny for a week? He looked up and found her watching at him expectantly.

"Sorry, I haven't been sleeping well lately and my mind wandered off. I was just remembering something Parker did last weekend." She seemed to find this answer acceptable and turned back to the skull sitting on the lab table. It was Friday morning, and he had come to the lab to finish up paperwork left from their last case. He'd found her examining a limbo case and he'd inquired about it, just to get her talking.

He glanced over at her as she leaned in close to the skull. He loved to watch her when she was focusing. The way her forehead wrinkled when she was calculating in her head, the way her eyes got this distant look as if she was picturing the crime happening. He'd never been this way with anyone else. Not even Rebecca, and at the time, he thought he was in love with her. Now he wasn't so sure. When he and Rebecca were together, when she worked at the table, he watched TV or read. Not once did he recall just sitting there watching her.

"What Booth? Why do you keep staring at me? It's extremely distracting, and I'd like to get this limbo case done today. I can't do that with you gaping at me. You've dropped off the paperwork I need to sign. So, why are you still here?" Wow. She looked amazing when she was annoyed. He made a personal note to annoy her as much as possible, when they moved passed this little tiff thing they were in.

"Geez, sorry Bones. Excuse me for zoning out. Man, I thought you'd be nicer to me, you know, with the whole stepping in front of a bullet for you thing." As soon as it was out of his mouth, he regretted it. Her eyes suddenly flashed with anger, darkening to almost navy. She walked over and got into his face.

"Don't you dare throw that in my face." She punctuated _face_ by poking him in the chest. Unfortunately for him, it was very near where he'd been shot. He flinched before he could stop it; his breath came out in a hiss and clenched his jaw. He watched her face blanch and grow pale. And, he might add, at a very alarming rate as she began to wobble. Had she been eating or sleeping at all lately?

"Oh god, Booth I'm so sorry." She placed her open hand gently over the healing wound, her eyes locked with his. She whispered something, but he didn't quite catch it. It seemed he had a one track mind when in contact with her, and he was in the process of cataloging the feel of her palm on his chest for later review.

"What Bones?"

"Did it hurt?" She whispered it, and it was barely audible over the hustle and bustle of the lab. He didn't really know what to say. Should he tell her it hurt like hell, but wasn't anything new? Should he tell her no, that the shock made it so he didn't really feel anything? Should he tell her the truth or fudge it a little. In the end, he chose a different route. He watched her head duck down, trying to find anything to focus on except for him.

"Well, yeah it hurt. But you know what made it all okay?" He crooked his finger under her chin and lifted her face. He was totally taken aback when he found tears in her eyes. God, now he felt like a huge jerk.

"What?" She was blinking furiously, and his lips quirked at how cute she looked.

"I knew that if I was going to die, the last thing in this world that I would remember is holding your hand, and looking into your eyes." He stopped, watching something flicker deep in her eyes. She tried to look down as a single tear found its way down her porcelain cheek. However, with his finger still under her chin, he lightly pulled her head back up, his other hand snaking up and wiping the tear away.

"Bones…" He was totally captivated by her eyes and the way they shimmered with unshed tears. He felt himself leaning in, and while one part of his brain was screaming no no no, his body and most of his brain was screaming yes yes yes. He was getting ever closer, and his eyes drifted shut. All of a sudden, she pushed him with all her might. His eyes flew open and he slammed into another lab table with an audible bang. He reached around and started massaging where his back had hit the table.

"Ow!" He looked up and saw tears streaming down her face.

"Stay away from me Booth."

Not once had he ever heard her say anything to him with such anger. But, laced in there was detectable anguish that made his heart squeeze. He looked at her. Her eyes were open wide and her chest was heaving. He took a step towards her hoping to console her, but she held up a hand. She turned and walked away, not once looking back. His eyes followed her as she grabbed her coat and stormed out.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He looked around and saw that everyone had dutifully ducked their heads. Good, he thought, sometimes squints really were smart. He mulled for a second, how the hell was he going to get Bones to melt this icy exterior she'd recently adopted. Then, the proverbial light bulb clicked on, and he walked to Angela's office.

"Angela, is Bones okay? I understand that she's upset about Zach, why wouldn't she be. But usually I can get through, or rather, she lets me in. Not this time, she's totally blocked me out and nothing that I do is helping. As a matter of fact, I think it's hurting." He drew in a shaky breath and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up at Angela and found her looking at him, eyes wide with surprise.

"What?"

"Are you kidding me? First of all, of course the Zach thing is killing her. But that's not all of it. You have to see it from her point of view. Her _whole_ life people have left her. Her whole life. So she's been independent, relying on only herself. Then you come along with your smooth voice and your honorable lifestyle and bust your way through her barriers. She was happier than I have ever seen her. She was getting out of the lab, she was being with people, and for once in her life, she wasn't completely and totally focused on her work. She's making time for her family, she's visiting Amy's girls, for God's sake, she just built a multi-million dollar bridge for a little town so a baby could have a good childhood." She was slowly inching her way towards him, and he found himself backed up against the wall. "She has changed drastically because of _you._ And the reason she's blocking everyone out, is because _you_, the person who has been forcing her to feel _died._ You died Booth."

"I thought she could compartmentalize well? Isn't that what she told Sweets? I mean, she didn't seem very upset at my funeral. Well, besides wailing on my face. Then she kept saying how my funeral was a waste of time…" He trailed off.

"Booth, after you blacked out at the Checkerbox, she cried. And I don't mean the whole misty eyed with a few tears. I mean there was a heavy stream of tears pouring down her face. I saw her close off the minute the doctors told us you had died. She doesn't know, but I sat outside her door for awhile just to make sure she was alright. You should've heard the sobs. These were gut wrenching, make you throw up, sobs. It took all of my power to not bust in there and hug her until she stopped crying. But you know her, the reason she waited until she got home was so no one would see that she _needed_ someone."

He opened his mouth to say something, but Angela shot him a look that made him snap his mouth shut.

"The next morning I showed up early and let myself into the apartment. The clothes that she was wearing the night before were in the trash, soaking wet from her showering with them on. I went into her bedroom and found her curled up next to a suitcase, her cheeks streaked with makeup. So don't you dare sit there and tell me she wasn't upset by your death. The reason she is shutting everyone out is because _you left her._" Angela was basically in his face now, and her face was a tad red from exertion. Taking a deep breath, she backed up and sat down.

He had no idea what to think. His heart had broken several times during the course of Angela's rant and he hadn't really gathered his bearings yet. He blinked his eyes against the gathering moisture. He didn't really trust his voice, so he just looked at her, his eyebrows raised. When she didn't say anything, he cleared his throat, hoping it would add a little strength to his voice.

"So…" His voice cracked. Great, he thought as his cheeks tinged slightly red. He cleared his throat again.

"So, what're you suggesting that I do?"

"I'm not going to tell you what to do. You need to figure that one out on your own." She paused, looking directly into his eyes. "But, for some reason, I think you already know. You're just looking for someone to tell you that what you're thinking is right." He nodded his head.

"You love her don't you?" His head jerked up. He'd known for a long time but hadn't let himself admit it. He knew that if he let himself love her, even if it was just in his head, the line he'd drawn long ago would be crossed. But, his mind reasoned, hadn't he loved her all along? What would change if she knew it too? What if she totally shut him out after? If he told her, there was no way that he was going to be able to retreat to the other side of the line.

He sighed. He did love her. He felt his whole body flood with warmth as he let realization take root in his heart. He was going to tell her. A determined look came across his face as he made this resolution. He set his jaw, stood up, and strode purposefully from the room, totally forgetting Angela.

"Go get 'em cowboy." Angela whispered as he made his way through the lab. Brennan, she pleaded in her head, please, for once, listen to your heart and not your head.


	3. Chapter 3

She walked into her apartment and slammed the door shut. She was fuming. She was trying to push him away, not that he'd take a hint. At first, she'd been going about it subtly, by just answering his questions. She wouldn't initiate a conversation unless it pertained to a case. But he really didn't get it and he had almost kissed her tonight. And what was worse, she had almost let him. She could feel his breath fanning lightly across her lips, and the scent that was the essence of Booth invading her senses. But, her mind snapped her back into reality and she'd pushed him away. I guess he got it now. Nothing subtle about "stay away from me."

She sighed. She'd been doing that a lot lately, sighing. See, this is what happens when you let people get close Tempe, she told herself. You need to rebuild those walls that you so carefully constructed oh so long ago. She sighed again, her body sagging a bit. That little spat with Booth had really taken a toll on her. Not right now, tomorrow she'd start construction on the walls around her heart. Now, she needed a rather large glass of wine, and a hot bath.

She walked into her bathroom and turned the faucet in her bathtub on. She felt the water, making sure it was the right amount of hot and cold. Reaching under the sink, she grab a big bottle of lavender scented bubble bath. The warm water, the lavender and the wine would totally calm her nerves. She'd sleep fine tonight. After she'd added a liberal amount to the rising water, she walked to her room and shed her work clothes. She grabbed her satin bathrobe, tossed her hair up into a messy bun on her head, and made her way to the kitchen. She searched high and low for that damn bottle of wine she swore she had just bought. Not finding it, she settled for some of that beer Booth insisted on bringing over.

Finally, she was ready. She'd lit some candles, turned off the harsh overhead light, and sunk into the gentle waves. She could feel the muscles in her back and legs relax, lulling her into a light doze. The beer left forgotten on the corner of the tub. She never heard the quiet knocks on her door. She never heard her nickname called softly through her apartment. She most certainly didn't hear him walk into the bathroom.

"Shit, sorry Bones." She woke up with a jerk. What the hell? She twisted her head in time to see him trip over her robe as he basically threw himself out of the bathroom. She grinned with silent satisfaction as she heard his shoulder connect with the door frame and his cruse that followed. She braced her hands on the side of the tub as she tried to haul herself out.

"What are you doing in here Booth!?" She yelled at him. She couldn't believe it. She'd outright told him to _stay away _from her. She had gotten one foot under her when her hands slipped off the edge of the tub. She couldn't do anything to stop herself as she fell back into the tub slammed her head off her abandoned beer bottle. She heard it smash off the tile, and fall into the tub.

"God dammit!" She grabbed the back of her head with a little more vigor than she had intended and winced. She hissed out her breath when she brought her hand around. She tried not to move. She didn't really want to have to go get glass surgically removed from her ass. She'd been embarrassed enough today.

"Bones, are you alright?" He'd slipped back into the bathroom when he heard her fall.

"Yes, Booth, I'm fine. Contrary to popular belief I can take care of myself. As a matter of fact, I've been doing it since I was 15. So, if you'd mind stepping out of my bathroom for a second, I'd like to get out of this damned tub and not wound myself in the process." She looked up at him from her position in the tub. He eyed her curiously.

"What?"

"Ummm, why would you wound yourself?" He asked innocently. God dammit! She hated the way that even though she was extremely angry at him, the quirks of his face could still make her knees a tad weak. Not that she'd ever admit that to anyone. It just didn't make sense, that a single look could make the muscles in your legs stop working.

"Because, when you so rudely interrupted my nap, I slammed my head off a beer bottle and it smashed into the tub. So, if you'll please _excuse_ yourself, I'll get out." She shot him a look that would've buckled the knees of a lesser man when she say his shoulders start shaking with silent laughter.

"Okay, I was just checking." However, before he left, he flashed his award winning smile and leaned down close to her face.

"Just so you know, I find your lack of puritan modesty very refreshing." And with that, he swept out of the bathroom. She stared into the empty space that he'd just occupied, then looked down. Well, she wasn't ashamed of her body.

She grabbed the handle on the side of the tub and carefully lifted herself out of the lukewarm water. She toweled herself off a bit as the water drained, leaving the shattered brown glass scattered up the length of the tub. Wrapped in her robe, she picked all of the pieces out and carried them to the kitchen, not even looking at Booth.

"Bones. Uh… yeah, I'm here because…" He stopped. And then all of the sudden he was behind her, pressing her into the counter. "Hey! You're bleeding!" He grabbed the towel off the stove handle and held it gently to her head.

She didn't really know what to do. Here she was, pressed to the counter by this amazing, yet infuriating man, whom she was trying ever so hard to push away. He's not making this easy on me is he, she asked herself. What is he doing, trying to make me see what I'll miss if I do? She pushed off the counter and spun, ready to throw a few words in his face before she stormed off to her room. However, all coherent and rational thought flew her mind when she found his face about two inches from her own.

"Booth.." was the only word her mind would form as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. God, she had thought that the mistletoe kiss was mind blowing. This one couldn't even be described by any adjective that she knew. And she knew a lot of adjectives. She felt her body begin to buzz as his lips moved against her own. She sighed softly when she felt his tongue ever so lightly trace her bottom lip. He took advantage of that and began lightly dueling with her tongue. When lack of oxygen became paramount, they broke apart, chests heaving. Her brain slowly began to register what had just happened, and she brought her hand to her slightly kiss-swollen lips with a small gasp.

"Why did you do that?" She looked at him, vulnerability pouring from her in waves. She couldn't believe that she'd let him kiss her, and she was angry with herself for showing any type of weakness.

"Well, to be honest…" he trailed off, seemingly searching for the right words. "It seemed like the right thing to do. Although in retrospect…" God, he certainly had the knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. She felt the fury from early begin to build back up in her body. And, to her utter horror, tears began to cloud her vision. She would've turned away, but he still had one hand on the back of her head, holding the towel over her wound.

"I can't believe you!" She was almost screeching. Calm down Tempe, you don't screech. She took a deep breath, and continued. "You are one of the most dense people I know. What I've been trying to get through that thick alpha-male skull of yours is to _stay away from me._ And, I thought I had made that pretty clear earlier tonight. You really can't take a hint, or even a direct statement! I'm not letting you back in Booth, not after what happened last time." She clapped her hand to her mouth. Dammit! She glanced at his eyes, and saw them cloud with sudden anger.

"You're not going to let me back in? I know that I got shot Bones, and I know that I didn't tell you. Even thought I tried. But no, you won't forgive me. You forgive Sweets for choosing to let you believe for two weeks that I had died because you could supposedly compartmentalize…"

"I can compartmentalize!" She yelled back at him.

"You can stop right there. Don't lie to me. Don't you think I know you better than that. I talked to Angela okay. So you can stop with the charade. Oh, and by the way, don't you think that it might've hurt my feelings a little when you said that my funeral was a waste of time?! When you said that… You know what, I don't even know how to describe how it felt. Suffice to say that it hurt like hell. Kind of like that bullet I took for you. You seem to forget that pretty easily." He'd dropped the towel and had gotten in her face. "And you know what Bones, if you had died, I would have never forgiven myself. You dying would have torn me apart. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I'm sorry that I made your life hell for two weeks." His voice had softened. He reached up and cupped her face in his hands. "I don't know what else to say, or what else to do to make you believe me."

"You're sorry that you made my life hell for two weeks? Hell? Hell doesn't even begin to describe what I went through Booth. Hell would've been a fucking picnic compared to the two weeks I cried myself to sleep at night. You know what I did when I got home from the hospital? I saw your blood all over my body. It was all over my hands, my shirt, my pants, even my face. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Do you know how many times I've thrown up because of blood? Exactly zero times. Then I laid on the floor of my bathroom crying harder than I've ever cried before." She took a shaking breath as the emotions from that night flooded back over her body. Her hand began to quake as she remember running around her apartment shoving things that reminded her of Booth in a suitcase. A suitcase that was still on her bed. She hadn't moved it since that day. She couldn't control her body anymore, and she hated it. She was sobbing and tears were pouring out of her eyes of their own accord. She felt her knees give out as her whole body was wracked with sobs. This time, it was different though. This time, someone caught her.

She felt herself being lifted up by strong arms and borne to the couch. She felt him sit in the corner and cradle her, softly stroking her hair as she sobbed on his chest. She could hear him mumble small words of comfort as he gently rocked her, trying to calm her down. The gentle rocking motion, his caresses and his soft words eventually stopped her crying. As her mind began to grow hazy with sleep, a thought popped unbidden into her head. Here she was, trying to rebuild her walls to block everyone out so she could get on with her life and be dependent on only herself. Yet, she was curled up in Booth's lap, his steady heartbeat and breathing matching her own. She began to wonder when she had ceased to be Doctor Temperance Brennan, and become _that_ girl. The kind of girl that needed a man there. She chuckled silently at her lost thought before sweet oblivion took her, maybe for the first time in her life, she was seeing just Tempe, and not Doctor Brennan. And, she thought, as sleep stole quietly across her mind, she didn't really mind that fact.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry that this chapter took so long… My muse fled when she found out about all the exams and homework I had this week. I hope that everyone had a good Turkey Day! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and added my story. **

Nothing could've prepared Seeley Booth for the breathtaking beauty of a sleeping Temperance Brennan. And he was a boy scout, so he was supposed to be prepared for everything. He had sat here for the past hour just drinking her in. He loved how her auburn curls framed her porcelain face. He loved how she felt, snuggle right up to his chest, her hands tucked up under her chin. He loved how even though she was pretty tall for a woman, she felt small in his arms. She snored lightly, as her mouth hung open sending small puffs of warm air towards his chin. He chuckled at how adorable she looked when all of the worries of the world were smoothed from her face in sleep.

He reached out and tucked one stray strand of hair that fluttered near her mouth. He pulled his hand back and let his knuckles graze across her cheek, marveling at how soft and warm her skin felt. She shifted slightly, burrowing further into his side.

"Seeley."

His eyes widened in surprise as his first name left her lips in a breathy moan. She _never _called him Seeley. Even when she was introducing him to people, she said his whole name. His heart gave a tight squeeze when he let himself imagine that maybe, some day, she'd call him that all the time. When he'd been with Cam, he had hated it when she called him Seeley. But, when Bones said it, it sounded right.

He let his gaze rest on her lips, those lips that just hours before he'd felt placed on his again. He had come here with the purpose of telling her how he felt. But she hadn't let him. Instead, she fought with him until she cried herself to sleep in his arms.

He lightly grazed his knuckles across her cheek one last time, then moved to stand up. He shifted her lightly, getting her into a more secure grip, and lifted her up. He made his way down her hall, bumped the door to her bedroom with his hip, and stepped into her room. He'd never been in here before, but he liked the room instantly. It felt so like Temperance, not Dr. Brennan. A painting by Angela hung over her bed, gauzy mauve-colored curtains covered the windows, a large closet off to the side, and a chaise lounge covered in her clothes stood underneath the windows. He walked over to the side of the bed, and gingerly set her on her feet.

A moan escaped her lips, and her eyes began to flutter. He quickly grabbed the corner of the duvet and pulled it down. He gently grasped her elbow.

"Here, Bones, lay down." She smiled when he heard his voice, and he felt his chest expand. He'd never met anyone who could control his mood with just a smile. He gently pushed her down among her pillows and brought the blanket up around her chin. He smiled as she squirmed a little to got comfortable. He stood there until her breathing began to even out. On impulse, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, then smoothed her hair away from her face.

"Goodnight Bones." He had turned to walk away when a small hand snaked out from under the covers and gripped his wrist.

"Please," she said, "please stay with me?" Her eyes fluttered up, and caught his. He melted a little when he saw the look that crossed her beautiful blue irises.

"Okay." He scooted around the edge of the bed, and sat down next to a suitcase. He reached out to move it when a thought crossed his mind. Wait, hadn't Angela said something about her sleeping curled around a suitcase when she'd found her the morning after he "died"? He looked up at her, and found she'd fallen back to sleep already, her light snoring having returned. He grabbed the edge of it and spun it until the lock was facing him. He popped it, then cringed at the loud noise it made in the quiet room. He waited for the inevitable, "what the hell are you doing Booth?" But, it never came. He glanced back at her and found the noise had done nothing to disturb her.

He gently tugged the lid up, and looked inside. He reached in and pulled out the first thing on top, it was a copy of her book. More precisely, it was the copy she dedicated to him. He flipped it open to the dedication page. His heart always beat a little faster when he read those words. It always made him smile that she'd thought of him. However, this time, another piece of paper obscured the writing on the page. He grabbed the rumpled piece of paper and began to read.

_Booth,_

_I know that you did all that you could. I __know__. Do not blame yourself, please. Please tell Russ that I don't hate him, and that I love him very much. Have him tell my Dad that despite everything, I love him too. Angela, tell her I'm going to miss her. _

_I do have one regret. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you in person how much you mean to me. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you that when I close my eyes at night, and when I open them in the morning, inevitably, you are always on my mind. I'm sorry that I'll never get to tell you that if love is that squeezing feeling you get in your chest when you're around someone (even though it really has no basis in science) and knowing that someone is always there to catch you if you fall, then I think that I love you. _

_Temperance_

He squeezed his eyes shut as he realized what this was from. When she'd been buried by the Gravedigger, she'd written a note to him, telling him not to blame himself if he found her dead. He reread the last part of the letter, _then I think that I love you._ He felt his whole body start to shake as he realized that she loved him too. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and blinked furiously to hold back the impending moisture. He'd never felt this feeling that was rushing through his body before. It was a mixture of anxiety and love. Anxiety was due to the fact that he'd almost lost her that day. The love was harder to explain. He knew that he loved her. That's why he was here. But this was different. Knowing that she loved him to left with this intense feeling radiating through every part of him.

He folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket. He reached back into the suitcase and grasped silky material. He pulled on it, and out came the little black dress he'd bought her in Vegas. The same one that had made his heart stop, leaving him speechless and without his customary witty comeback. He had yet to meet another woman who, with just being herself, could render his wit nonexistent. He reached in again and pulled out a Wong Foo's menu. And again, and pulled out her Foreigner album. Slowly, it dawned on him exactly what the suitcase was for. Reaching in one last time, he grabbed what felt like a picture frame. On top, he found Brainy Smurf and Jasper. He slowly picked them up and set them on top of the Vegas dress, balancing them so they wouldn't fall. His breath hitched as he saw what the picture frame held. It was a picture of him and Bones, but it was snapped in one of those moments where they were just looking at each other, speaking volumes with their eyes.

"I couldn't look at anything that reminded me of you," she said, her voice gravely from just waking up. He jumped up, feeling like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Nope, this was far worse than a cookie jar.

"What?" His voice was much shakier than he intended it to be.

"After you died," her voice cracked as she dredged up the memories of that night once again. "After you died, I couldn't look at anything that reminded me of you. But I couldn't throw them away. They meant too much to me." He watched as she swiped at the tears escaping from under her eyelids.

He couldn't take it anymore. He crawled of the bed and straddled her.

"Temperance. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry." He couldn't stop them, tears poured down his face as he cupped her face and kissed every part of it. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, her chin, her lips. His eyes popped open in surprise when she grabbed his arms and flipped him onto his back. The breath in his lungs left with a small grunt. He looked up at her, and saw a look he'd never seen before blazing through her eyes.

"I know Booth, I know." He swiped his thumb underneath her eye and caught a tear as it fell. He lifted his head and caught her lips with his own. He felt her hands bunch up into his t-shirt as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss, her teeth slowly scraped against his bottom lip. He grasped her hips and lightly pushed her back. He wiggled a little to sit up straight, and looked into her confused eyes.

"Bones, I came over here tonight because I realized something." He stopped and took a deep, calming breath. "I came over here because I realized that these past couple of weeks that you've been distant, you've been trying to push me away. And to answer your question, I can take a hint. I've just chosen to ignore yours. Those two weeks I was dead, I thought that you knew that I wasn't. But those two weeks that I couldn't talk to you, it was horrible. Albeit, not as horrible as yours, but still extremely uncomfortable. I sat in my hospital bed, barraged by agents telling me this and that. But through all of that all I could think of was you."

He heard her gulp, and this made him smile. "For two weeks I was glad that I stood in front of that bullet for you. I'm still glad that I did it. I was relieved that nothing had happened to you. And I realized, that if something had happened to you…" His breath hitched a little. "I wouldn't have been able to tell you that… I love you."

She opened her mouth to say something, but he held up his hand. "Before you interrupt me, let me finish. I have loved you for a while. I don't even remember when it really happened, but it's always been at the back of my mind. And when Kenton had you, and you were taken by the Gravedigger…" He took the paper out of his pocket and pressed it into her hand. He watched her eyes widen in recognition, as she figured out what he'd just given her. "I almost died inside. When I saw that puff of dirt, it felt like every cell in my body split, and yes I know that's scientifically impossible," he said when she opened her mouth again. This time he put his fingers over her mouth. "But when I grabbed your hand and pulled you out of that damn whole, my whole body shook with relief. I'm surprised that I didn't kiss you right there."

She pushed his hand away and put her fingers on his mouth.

"Booth!" He stopped and looked at her expectantly. "Now, if I can talk for a second." He looked down guiltily. "What I was going to say is, I wish you had kissed me there. That's what I wanted too!"

He opened his eyes a little wider when it hit him what she was actually saying.

"When you were…dead… I realized why it hurt so much. The reason I was crying so hard was because I'd never be able to turn to you and have you explain pop culture references. I'd never open the door at 1 in the morning and find you with Wong Foo's. I'd never be able to give you another guy hug when I was scared. And, I'd never be able to tell you that, these three years, you've made you way into my heart." He was watching her closely. Through the whole speech, not once had she looked him in the eye. Her eyes had roamed the room as tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. He crooked his finger under her chin and lifted her face.

"Say it." He said it softly, and with every ounce of tenderness that he possessed.

"I love you, Seeley. I think, I've always loved you." He looked deep into her beautiful blue eyes and smiled his best charm smile. He had never felt so happy and content. His whole body was pleasantly tingling as he gazed into her eyes.

"Well." He looked at how they were arranged. She was sitting in his lap, while he was propped up against the headboard. "This isn't exactly how I pictured telling you. I had something more romantic in mind. You know, sweep you off your feet."

"What do my feet have to do with this?" She looked at him with genuine confusion in her eyes. He laughed, a real laugh, one from deep within his being. He grabbed her and flipped her onto her back.

"I love you." He watched her forehead wrinkle in confusion.

"What does this have to do with my fe…" He dipped his head and captured her lips with his own. She didn't respond for a second, then her lips became pliant under his. Never had he felt anything as intense as this kiss. It was tender, passionate, heated, and hungry all at once. He moved his lips down her jaw to her neck, enjoying how she responded to him.

"What were you saying?" He asked her, as he lightly nipped her shoulder.

"Huh? What?" He laughed again as he slowly tugged up her shirt. He'd finally found a way to render the woman who had an answer for everything, and a question for everyone, totally incoherent.

**A/N: One, maybe two more chapters after this. Again, I'm sorry it took so long. College is a bitch sometimes. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright so here's the last chapter. I'm sorry that I'm terrible at updating. My finals are finally over. So here I am, writing to congratulate myself. I want to thank everyone who reviewed and added my story. This was my first fanfic that I've published, and I was kind of nervous.**

**Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all!!!**

**Here you go!**

The next morning, as the sunshine filtered across the bed, she sat against the headboard with a seriously tuckered out FBI Agent cuddled to her chest. She mindlessly brushed her hand through his sleep-tousled hair. True to his word, Booth had shown her that when two people love each other, breaking the laws of physics is what happens when you make love. She didn't know what she had been expecting, or if she'd ever been expecting it to happen. But, when it did, she'd never felt anything more right in her life than to be making that miracle with Booth.

She looked back down at him and smiled. She enjoyed this, just watching him sleep. It made her feel happy. That thought surprised her. She honestly had never pictured herself finding someone who made her feel like she needed to depend on somebody other than herself. Her whole life she'd been alone. Well, since she was 15. But this was the first time, she felt right, that finally depending on someone was what she needed to do.

She gazed down at him and felt this newly identified feeling, love, flood through her body. It felt funny, to be able to tell what it was finally. She'd felt this for a while now. Actually, after about a year of being partners, she'd felt this warmth that seemed to radiate throughout her body whenever he entered her office, or when he knocked on her door with take-out. When they were at the diner, and he would lean close to her face to explain something, her pulse had always quickened and she could feel a flush creeping up her cheeks. Usually she had to almost physically restrain herself from reaching out and brushing her fingers across his lips and cheeks.

She was startled from her revelry when Booth snorted in his sleep. She smiled, she couldn't help it. He was so amazing. She didn't understand when this had really happened, when he'd crept passed her defenses and firmly entrenched himself within her heart. Of course, entrenched figuratively. No one could really fit into any human's heart. But the way that Booth always knew when she was hungry, or when she wanted to leave her office but felt she couldn't and would just show up spouting something about it being a nice day and what not, the way that he seemed to notice all the small stuff, made her feel comfortable. For some reason, when running had always been her first course of action before, running didn't seem like a viable option anymore. Not only that, she didn't want to. She wanted this.

"Please stop thinking so loudly. You're going to give me a headache." He looked up into her eyes and smiled.

"And how did you know that I was thinking?"

"First of all, I know you. Remember? Daffodils and Daisies? Second of all, I could almost hear your forehead crinkling together into that cute little 'contemplating face' you have."

"Cute? Are you supposed to call grown women cute?" She feigned annoyance with his juvenile terminology. But, she could tell he saw right through it.

"Oh you love it." He stretched his head up and planted a kiss right on her lips. Then he cuddled down on to her chest again.

"I could get used to this," he said as he shifted his head until he found the spot where his head fit perfectly into her shoulder.

"What?"

"Waking up with you. No matter what the day holds, it would always start good because I'd wake up and see your face." He drew circles on her belly with his pointer finger.

"You know what?" She crooked her finger under his chin and pulled up until he looked directly into her eyes. "I really could too. I was just thinking about how, I've never felt like I should depend on someone other than myself. Now, honestly, I can't picture my life without you in it."

"Why Temperance Brennan, was that a marriage proposal?" He smiled at her.

"Hmmm, I don't know." She said thoughtfully. Did she ever really want to get married? Would she ever want that? And isn't that what Booth wanted? Wouldn't he want more children and a house in the suburbs? She didn't think that she could ever do that. She looked up at him and saw a look of shock on his face.

"What?" She asked.

"I was just kidding. We don't ever have to get married Tempe. As long as I have you, I'll be happy. I know you don't want a house with tons of kids playing around in the backyard. Honestly, I don't think I ever really wanted that. It's a nice thought. But, not with my job. I'm happy just being with you. Actually, I'm more that happy. I'm ecstatic." He paused and sat up a little straighter. "All I'll ever need is you." He stroked the back of his hand down her cheek.

She had noticed that he'd called her Tempe. As long as she'd known him, he'd called her Bones or Temperance (but only Temperance when he really meant something). But, it sounded nice coming from him.

"You called me Tempe," she stated.

"Huh? Oh, I guess I did." He furrowed his brow. "Hmm, I've never called you that before. I wonder why I did then."

"I like it when you say it. You can still call me Bones. As annoying as it is, I have come to like it. But Tempe feels right when you say it."

"Well, maybe all this time, we've been waiting for you to become Tempe to me, instead of just Bones."

"I don't know what the means." He smiled as the phrase passed her lips. They couldn't have a conversation without her saying it. He loved having to explain things to her like that. She always had to explain her science things to him, it was nice to have something that she asked his advice on.

"Well, look at it this way. You never called me Seeley until yesterday. As a matter of fact, the first time I heard you call me Seeley was in your sleep. So, maybe all this time we've been waiting for me to become Seeley to you instead of just Booth." He smiled at the confusion in her eyes.

"I still don't know what that means."

"I'm Booth at work. You're Bones. All this time we've been dancing around what we both really wanted. The sexual tension was palpable. If we were just Booth and Bones, we were just partners. But, if you started calling me Seeley and I started calling you Tempe, we would've made our relationship seem much more intimate than our professionalism would allow. Do you understand now?"

She thought about it. It did make some sort of sense. By him calling her Bones or Temperance, and not Tempe, the nickname she had most people call her, it was like a reassurance that they were still just partners, that the line hadn't been crossed. But, if he had called her Tempe, maybe the line would've begun to skew. (Not in her mind though. She was very adept at compartmentalizing trivial things like that.) But she could see that him calling her Tempe now, was just his way of showing that they had taken that step, that the line was firmly fixed behind them.

"I think I do. What you're saying, is that by me calling you Seeley and you calling me Tempe, we're showing what we really mean to each other. That now, we're Booth and Bones at work, but at home we're Seeley and Tempe."

"That's exactly what I'm saying. At work, we'll still be our professional selves. But at home, you'll be Tempe, and I'll make you giggle with my devastatingly charming wit, and you'll stun me with your brilliant insights into anything scientific. Not that we don't do that at work, but at home, it'll be different, you know?"

"No, I don't understand." She looked at him with slight confusion tingeing her beautiful features. He loved the way confusion played on her face. Her brow wrinkled in consternation as she tried to wrap her immense intelligence around his words.

"At work, when I make you giggle or when you explain something science-y to me…"

"Science-y is not a word Seeley."

"Yes, I know that Tempe. Just, let me finish what I'm saying, then correct my grammar all you want."

"Okay, I can agree to those terms." She gave him a look that said 'please, continue.' But he could tell that she was going to catalogue everything he said from now on, and correct him later on it. He knew that he was going to seriously regret giving her that option for the rest of his life.

"Well, now that we have that settled. What I was saying is that when we do that stuff at work, it's work related. It's always about dead bodies, or the case, or something Sweets said. But at home, when we're talking about, I can kiss you until you forget what you're saying, or you can make fun of the way I snore or something. Do you get it now?"

"Yes, you're saying we'll have more intimate conversations at home. I understand. We'll almost be separate people at work. Booth and Bones are partners and friends at work. They understand that professionalism is something that their occupations require. But, at home Seeley and Tempe are friends, lovers, and partners. There isn't a line in between them. They can kiss or talk or yell or sleep or what have you however much they want to. I do understand now."

"I have a question. What exactly are we now?"

"Well, I believe that we have established, several times in the past few minutes, that we're both Booth and Bones, and Seeley and Tempe."

"No, I got that part. Are we like, dating now? Are you my girlfriend? And before you even start with the whole antiquated blahdy blahdy blah, I just want to know, are we in a relationship?"

"I believe, Seeley, that you are in fact my boyfriend." She watched as his amazing charm smile burst across his face like spring after a long winter. She could see the love and adoration radiating from his eyes, and it took her a second to, as Angela described it so aptly, catch up to her own reality, and realize that it was all for her. She burst into her own huge smile when she grasped that that was exactly what her eyes were saying to him.

He leaned in and claimed her lips with his, pushing her back onto the pillows. And just before all logical and reasoned thought fled her over-stimulated brain, she realized that her whole life had been building up to this moment. Every decision she'd made led her to Seeley Booth. Never once in her life had she had to become Tempe to anyone. She'd always introduced herself to new people as Temperance, or Tempe for short. But, for three long years, she'd been Dr. Brennan and Bones to Booth. Until now. They had started off with an animosity towards one another that had gradually blossomed into one of the deepest emotional connections that she had ever experienced in her life. As Booth slowly worked his way down her neck and across her collar bone, one last thought occurred to her. It felt good to become Tempe.

**A/N2: Thank you again to everyone who read and reviewed my fic. It felt good to finish this. I'd been putting it off for a while now, because I didn't quite know how to end it. Tell me what you think!!! TB22**


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